|New York Funeral|
|Season 2, Episode 7|
|Air date||September 20, 2011|
The Brown Unicorn Project
New York Funeral is the seventh episode and final of Season 2 and the seventh overall of SIMGM's Glee spoofs. This episode is a spoof of Glee episodes Funeral and New York.
The episode starts with Quinn and Finn sitting in Finn's truck after a funeral that Finn organized. Quinn says how proud she is of him, despite being flat a few times, before noticing that he was crying and asks why. He says that he is breaking up with her, resulting in Quinn yelling at him for doing so at a funeral. He says that he thought it's the most appropriate place to do it - like they're putting their relationship to rest. Quinn mocks him, asking if he has a headstone for it too, saying "Here lies Finn and Quinn's relationship. He broke up with her at a funeral." He tries to calm her down, but she asks if it's because of Rachel. He denies it but Quinn calls him a lying bastard, forcing him to admit to it. He adds that it's because their relationship makes no sense and wonders why they got back together in the first place. Quinn replies by saying that half of the stuff that happens to all of them makes no sense. Finn says that he feels more for Rachel than he does for her, causing Quinn to cry. Even though he tries to stop her, she gets out of the car and leaves. A few seconds later, she comes back asking him to drop her off because he's her only ride home. He does so.
Will is talking to his ex wife Terri in the halls of McKinley, thanking her for the first class tickets to New York. She says it's pretty random, as one minute she tried to destroy him and now this to which he agrees. She starts saying that she knows she can sometimes be difficult but Will cuts her off before she says 'difficult' and says "a crazy b*tch?". Terri says it's not what she wanted to say and Will tries to make it seem like he meant something else by saying 'a crazy b*tch' but she tells him to shut up and give her one of the tickets. When he asks why she simply replies that he'll be riding coach and leaves. It turns out Emma was standing behind them and just says "Damn".
The shot cuts to New York. The camera is spinning around Times Square, finally zooming in on Rachel who says "I made it." The moment is interrupted when a guy tells her to move because she's standing on a spot where he puts up his hot dog selling stand. She apologizes and runs away. The rest of the New Directions are sitting on the Times Square stairs, finding it hard to believe they're in New York and being very excited. Quinn says she has big plans. Kurt asks what they are since she has been saying that for the past few hours and she replies only with "They're big." Rachel comes running and says that she got them all tickets for the longest running show on Broadway - Cats. Quinn tells her that it closed down about 11 years ago. Quinn asks whether she was supposed to be a Broadway guru, and that she would know when a show had stopped playing. Rachel agrees, saying that Quinn has a point.
The scene goes to a hotel room where the New Directions are staying. Will is putting them on lockdown until they write two songs for Nationals. Kurt asks if it would've been smarter if they wrote their songs at home so they would have time to rehearse them here, but Will says it's not time for logic. He tells them not to leave the room, then leaves. Quinn suggests they go out of the room and they all agree, saying they might get inspiration this way. They emerge into the performance of Hello/New York, New York while walking through New York.
After a while, the guys are in their room. Finn says that he and Rachel should sing a duet for Nationals. Sam asks him if he's using the competition to get Rachel back. Finn initially tries to deny it, but relents says that he is. The guys suggest how to get her back, but he declines all of the suggestions, saying he has an idea. It cuts to the girls' room, where the girls (except for Rachel) and Kurt are pillow fighting. Rachel tries to calm them down unsuccessfully, saying that they have a song to write. Quinn hits her in the face with a pillow, screaming that "she has big plans." Rachel receives a text from Finn: "Meat me at da middle park on dat big bradge. FINN." She smiles.
After this, the scene goes to Will, who's standing on a Broadway stage. The director of the theater comes up to him, saying that he knows him and that April gave him a tape of Will singing. He says that, in his years, he saw many talent, but that Will's talent is like no other. Will asks "Really?" and the director says no and that Will should get off his stage as they're about to rehearse.
Finn and Rachel meet at the bridge and Rachel asks what's going on. Finn says he had flowers but that he accidentally dropped them over the bridge. He says that he figured, since they were both captains, they could work on a song together. He says it's a business date. Rachel replies "So it's a date." and Finn confirms it. They're later seen in Bootay and Rachel says she can't believe she's there while Finn says that the name Bootay is funny. Rachel states that this is the place where every Tony award winner comes to eat and says that one day, she will too. Finn admires her confidence, saying that he could never possess something like that to which she agrees. She asks how he got a reservation. He says he pulled some strings with the owner and that they're getting the meal for free, leaving Rachel astonished. Finn says he'd do anything for her. They have a moment until they hear someone breathing heavily next to them. It turns out to be an old lady. Finn asks if she's okay only to have her say that's he's got 'lickable' earlobes and that she wants to lick them.
Meanwhile, Quinn is sitting in the dark hotel room with a shirt saying 'Xena or GTFO', saying "Plans. Big plans. I've got them. Big, big plans. Rachel's going down." Mercedes comes up with a shirt saying 'tater tots' and Quinn can't remember her name at first, forgetting that they were friends last season. Mercedes asks if Quinn's okay, and Quinn says she's never better. Mercedes asks if she wants to join the girls in watching Teen Moms of Ohio. Quinn says that she can't imagine having a baby as a teen and Mercedes reminds her that she did. She says she's busy with her big plans and that she can't watch the show. Mercedes leaves and the camera zooms up on Quinn's face.
It shows Finn and Rachel again. Rachel is saying how much she loved the dinner and Finn compliments her. A waitress comes up, saying that she'll bring them the bill if they're done. Finn looks confused, saying that he spoke to the owner today - he was standing outside the restaurant. The waitress says that the owner is out of the country on vacation. Finn goes into a flashback. It turns out he was talking to some random guy who likes to pretend to be someone else, like an ex member of the CIA or president of the United States. When Finn leaves, two tourists approach the stranger, asking how to get to the Empire State Building. The guy says that he'd love to as he's actually a tour guide named Finn Hudson. After the flashback ends, Rachel is looking at Finn furiously. Finn says he has a little money, however the waitress tells him the bill is $1500. Finn and Rachel both gasp and are later seen in kitchen washing the dishes.
A couple of hours later, they're walking back to the hotel. Rachel saying that it's okay and that she's sure that Finn isn't the only one to mistaken a schizophrenic for a five-star restaurant owner. Finn says he has a surprise for her but they're running late so they decide to take a shortcut down an alley, only to have a mugger jump out. Rachel screams "Oh my Barbra!" and Finn tries to tell the mugger that they don't have any money. Rachel asks him not to kill her. The mugger says that they have some expensive clothing and asks if they are designer. Rachel affirms this and begins to tell him that he has a good eye but he tells her to shut up and give him their clothes, leaving Finn and Rachel on the street in their underwear. Finn says it could've been worse and at that moment the police come and lock them up for walking around almost fully naked. Finn says again that it could've been worse but Rachel tells him to shut the f*ck up. Meanwhile, Puck, Artie, Mike and Sam are left waiting in a street. They're discussing Finn and Rachel's whereabouts and why they might be late, saying that he should've taken their advices instead. Puck asks what they should do now. Kurt and a Rachel having a "Breakfast at Tiffany's" moment. Rachel thanks Kurt for bailing her and Finn out last night. Kurt says that it's not a problem and that she'll just have to make it up to him. She asks how and he smiles before running off, Rachel following close behind. They break into the Gershwin theater. While Rachel is giving Kurt a lecture about breaking and entering, he says that this is Broadway; that this is home. Rachel says it does feel like home, but she has to focus on Finn now. Kurt asks her to imagine her future, forget Finn and Lima and just sing. They sing Perfect. After the performance, Rachel thanks Kurt for making her see that this is where she belongs and that she doesn't need Finn or Lima. He tells her she'll probably change her mind by the end of the episode and she agrees. After that a keeper enters, asking how they got in considering the fact that the theater was closed. Kurt tries to explain but just runs away in the end with Rachel running after him once again.
The scene changes to Quinn, Santana and Brittany in the hotel room. Santana tells Quinn that they need to talk. Santana and Brittany tell Quinn that she's been acting strange lately and ask what's going on. Quinn says "Plans. Big plans." once again. Santana asks her about the plans and if it had anything to do with Finn dumping her. Quinn tells her that it's too late and she's already executed her plans. Brittany asks when and Quinn says during lunch when Rachel ordered her drink. Santana asks if she poisoned her drink, but Quinn says she did something worse - she changed Rachel's order when she wasn't around. Santana and Brittany are shocked and Quinn says she's so bad and can't be tamed. Santana then asks if Quinn wanted to ruin the whole competition, to which Quinn snaps at them. When Santana retaliates and asks what's really going on with her, Quinn tells them that she just wants somebody to love her. Santana says she has a solution - a haircut.
The New Directions are preparing for the competition. Will says that they'll be fine as long as Finn and Rachel don't kiss. Santana comments that 'nobody wants to be seeing all that' which prompts Rachel to ask her why she keeps on adding an -s where it's not neccessary, but Santana tells her to 'shuts it'. Rachel goes into the bathroom where she hears farting sounds. She says that she told her not to have Mexican, thinking it's Tina. However, it turns out to be Sunshine Corazon. Rachel assumes that she's suffering withdrawls from the drugs Goolsby's got Vocal Adrenaline on. Sunshine denies that, saying "Can't a girl just take a sh*t?" and that she's very nervous so her stomach is upset. Rachel asks her if she think she's stupid, but Sunshine tells her she's just a crazy b*tch, not stupid. Rachel accuses her of trying to get on her good side and letting her win the competition that way. Sunshine gets mad and tells her not to make her angry. Rachel, however, tells her she's only mad because they'll kick VA's butt, to which Sunshine replies by kicking her in the stomach and out of the bathroom.
Backstage, Rachel and Finn are worried about their duet. Finn asks her to get back together, but she declines it, saying that she's focusing on her Broadway career at the moment. She says her world doesn't revolve around him. She says her opinion might change by the end of the episode, though. She then walks away as the ND are the next to perform. Rachel has a sad look on her face as she look towards him before they perform Smack That. During the performance, Jesse comes in and sits next to Will. Towards the end of the performance, rest of the ND file onto the stage and face away from the Finn, Rachel, and the audience. At the end of the song, Finn and Rachel kiss, much to Will's dismay. While they do so, Mercedes, Santana and Brittany all have their own thoughts. Mercedes thinks about getting some New York tater tots after they win. Santana wonders if Brittany knows that she's staring at her butt, which Brittany telepathically replies that she does know. After this, the New Directions perform Tonight Tonight. The crowd loves them.
After the performance, everybody's talking in the lobby. Rachel and Finn don't think that the kiss was a big deal, however Jesse comes up and tells them that it was. Finn tells him that he's just jealous. Jesse tells him that he made a bad move for the whole team. Kurt comes up and says that they just posted the list with the top 10 show choirs. Will says that they were great and "that besides the kiss, there's no way..." at that point the scene cuts to Blaine and Kurt drinking coffee in the Lima Bean, and Kurt ends the sentence: "we lost. Didn't even place." Blaine tells him he must've been so disappointed, but Kurt says he saw it coming. Blaine tells Kurt he loves him. Kurt is left speechless, but after a while he says he loves him too. Kurt says he had a pretty good year, aside from the bullying and Blaine's fling with Rachel. Blaine says that he got a boyfriend, character development, depth and a consistent storyline. Kurt then mumbles "Yeah, I got a loving boyfriend... who got to have more solos than me", quickly yelling "Hey look it's Mercedes and Sam!" to cover it up. We then see Mercedes and Sam sitting on the table near Kurt and Blaine's. Blaine asks if they're on a date, but Kurt says it's not possible as Mercedes is tot-sexual. Meanwhile, Mercedes and Sam are discussing Sam's sexual orientation. During the conversation, it's revealed they're dating, even though there's no reasoning for them to be.
The scene goes to Brittany and Santana standing next to their lockers in school. Santana is angry with Finn and Rachel for costing them the competition and says that they would've placed if the she and Brittany had kissed. This leads to Santana asking where do they stand, which Brittany replies with "in the hallway". Santana says what she actually meant and Brittany tells her that she loves her more than anyone else. Santana asks her when did she get this smart. Brittany says that glee club is about to start and heads towards the choir room, but Santana tells her to wait, grabs her and starts making out with her. However, it turns out to be in her head again.
Rachel finds Finn sitting in the library. He says he's hiding because everyone hates him. Rachel says that it's not true, but Finn goes into a flashback where Santana told him everyone hates him. Finn says that he's not a leader, even though he's supposed to be one. He keeps on talking about being a loser until Rachel shuts him up angrily. She yells at him and tells him to get up. She promptly slaps him and tells him to march to the choir room.
After that, Mercedes goes into a TV PSA kinda thing and says that she knows that we're waiting for something connected to tater tots. However she doesn't do that. She just thanks everyone for watching and wishes us all well. At the end, however, she says "Oh, and... tater tots."
- Main article: New York Funeral Quotations
Special Guest StarsEdit
- Harry Sim Jr. as Mike Chang
- Chord Oversim as Sam Evans
- Ashley Sim as Lauren Zizes
- Charice Simpengo as Sunshine Corazon
Absent Cast MembersEdit
- The Boss as Rachel, Quinn, Santana, Will and Mike
- The Boss' Brother as Blaine, Brittany, Mercedes, Finn, Artie and Lauren
- The Boss' Sister as Tina
- Michael Aguilar as Kurt
- Scott Carter as Puck
- Will Moring as Sam
- Brianna Johns as Terri and Sunshine
- Hello/New York, New York by Martin Solveig feat. Dragonette/Frank Sinatra. Sung by the New Directions.
- Perfect by P!nk. Sung by Rachel Berry and Kurt Hummel.
- Smack That by Akon. Sung by Rachel Berry and Finn Hudson.
- Tonight Tonight by Hot Chelle Rae. Sung by the New Directions.
- So far, this is the longest spoof episode, being at 35:12.
- This is the last time that Mercedes does a "Tater Tot" ending. However, she has still continued to make a reference to tater tots in the following 3 episodes.
- When the episode was re-released on the new channel, it was split into 2 parts due to complaints from viewers with slow computers. It later had to be taken down due to copy right issues. You can still watch it from the old Simgm channel.
- Also, when this episode was re-released the name was changed from Glee Season 2 Spoof Episode 7, to New York Funeral, the spoof episode name.
- The “Xena or GTFO” t-shirt Sim!Quinn wears in the episode was a small shout out to Xena lovers and The Boss' friend lemonelephant.
- You can download Sim content from the episode here.